Baby Boomers and Dating

Jeff Papa is a self described "aging gay" baby boomer born in 1956. The answers he gave to interview questions focused primarily on emotional responses to external situations described in the questions. He emphasized supportive, loving,  generous, and accepting relationships throughout his life, including his family and friends as well as his romantic partners. Though navigating the uncharted territories of dating as a gay man was something he had to learn on his own, he still desired to replicate the same "normal life" as the straight couples around him.

Jeff Papa describes his ideal romantic partner using the same adjectives he used to describe his parents and their relationship. He has been in a relationship with his partner Jeff for 30 years. When gay marriage was legalized, Jeff Papa says he never really thought about getting married- until his now-husband surprised him by proposing. They live in Virginia with two dogs.

Jeff Papa is a fan of disco music and going to the gym. He discussed how everyone was exploring their sexuality at the same time he was, because the 70s was the time to have those experiences. He was typically a serial monogamist during this period, in relatively steady relationships throughout the AIDS crisis as well. Still, he found some difficulty navigating the expectations of gay dating with no map to start from. His ideal first date was good conversation, typically over dinner. 

Despite the fact that Jeff's parents were loving and supporting, he never actually used the terminology surrouding his partners that straight couples access easily. Rather than calling a romantic partner his boyfriend, he often opted for words like 'friend.' He sometimes would call the person he was dating boyfriend to close friends, but it was generally not part of the vernacular of the time. He mentioned the show Will & Grace, and how it impacted the way gay couples began to talk about each other to those around them. At this point, he had already begun dating his now-husband Jeff (pictured).